


Cigarettes

by orphan_account



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Cigarettes, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jason Todd is Red Hood, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 07:50:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17402948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tim Drake is a manipulative control freak that ruins all his relationships. Jason Todd is an asshole that will never let go of the past. Together, for better or worse, they end up being kind of ok with that.





	Cigarettes

Growing up, everyone made it very clear to Tim that he had one thing in particular, that gave him an edge on the rest of his peers. Tim Drake had limitless potential. He could do great things. He should have done great things. He just had to apply himself. Put in the effort. And he could do anything. It’s what they told him, and it’s what he believed for so long. That he was destined for greatness, and all he had to do was find it. Tim Drake was meant to do great things. But he wasn’t really Tim Drake anymore, was he?

He was Tim Wayne now. Red Robin. The third Robin, but the first to have the mantle taken from him, by force. Youngest CEO of a company whose name he now shared, but to the public nothing more than another Wayne charity-case with a pretty face. 

His life, as a socialite and as a vigilante, both seemed so glamorous and exciting in the papers. Had they still been around, Tim was sure his parents would be nothing but proud of him. Seeing his face on billboards and magazines, and seeing all the good he had done. Oh how successful he had become! What a good man their son turned out to be!

But they weren’t still around. And none of it was true, not really. Maybe technically, but Tim knew better. He knew that, in reality, he had somehow made himself out to be so much smarter, so much braver, and in general, so much better than he knew he was. The people that knew him well, he thought, they must know it too. They probably hate him for it, for all the mistakes he made, for how shallow he really was. Especially for how he would wallow in self-pity like this, as if feeling sorry for yourself had ever helped anyone.

Which brings him back to where he is now, in “uniform”, sitting on the roof of Wayne Manor. He peels the domino mask off of his face and feels the cold wind cut through the newly exposed skin, fading away into numbing sensation. No one has noticed he was back from patrol already.

Good. No one needs to see me like this.

He feels around for the small carton of cigarettes he had managed to sneak away from the manor before coming up here. The thin plastic film is immediately ripped away; he fumbles with the unnecessary packaging sticking to his skin for a bit longer than is probably reasonable, until it is completely torn apart, and finally successfully discarded. As if trying to compensate for the mundane failure, he flicks the carton open in one calculated motion. 

Tim didn’t smoke often. In fact, a year ago, he didn’t smoke at all. He can’t quite remember why exactly he had started, but he did know that jason kept fresh packs hidden all over the manor for the rare occasions where he bothered coming home for a night or longer. He also knew that nothing else about his lifestyle could ever be considered healthy, so really, this was just one more nail in the coffin. Besides, it was a habit he has saved only for very bad days, and this just happens to be one of them.

The first match Tim lights, he lets burn down to his fingertips, the minor burn being the thing that pulls him out of his thoughts. The second is blown out immediately by a small gust of wind. Third time’s the charm.

As he inhales, the way it burns his throat is unpleasant for only a moment before he feels the nicotine kick in. He’s so glad to finally be able to calm the fuck down for a moment that he doesn’t even care that he can now hear footsteps behind him.

“well this is depressing”

Oh. It’s him. 

“i didn’t know you were coming home,” tim deflects. 

“What can i say? I was in the area. Also,”  
Jason pauses for a moment to sit down next to Tim, and steals back the pack of cigarettes the depressed bird had made no effort to hide.  
“Pretty sure these are mine, Timbo”

“If you really care, you should hide them better”

He seemed almost offended at that.  
“Well it doesn’t seem like B’s found any of them”

“He has, actually. He just doesn’t want to get rid of the only thing you’ll actually leave here.”

The mood became solemn again. Suddenly Jason really wanted to change the subject. Why did he come over here again? He knew why he had come back to the manor, he needed something to pawn. But why did he bother coming over here and stopping to talk?

Oh. Right.

“Hey, if this whole...this,” he pauses makes a broad gesture around tim; “if this is about steph-”

Tim stands in a single motion. Suddenly the air is tense.

Ok. Guess he didn't want to talk about it.

“Who the hell told you about that?!”

Really didn’t wanna talk about it.

“Calm down! She told me. At least, she mentioned it briefly. Before Cass kicked me out of the apartment”

“What, you just...hang out? At their apartment?” 

“More like I steal from their kitchen sometimes, and Steph doesn’t bother stopping me anymore. Now look,Tim; regardless of how I happened to come across this information, this is where i am now,”

Jason sighs heavily, and pinches his forehead as if trying to recover from a headache before continuing. 

“Ok, so. I chat with Steph for like what, ten minutes at most? And she mentions you guys broke up. I think ‘cool, whatever. Shit happens’. But then later that night, I happen to see you here, where you are now. You’re smoking, which i never even considered was a thing you did, and you're staring off into space, with the same look I see in people that I’ve watched jump off of fucking buildings.

Now I actually bring up whatever it was that happened between the two of you, and you're standing here, yelling at me and crying like you do after one of us ends up in the fucking ground. 

I may not have the best track record in this area, but I actually don't want you dead, and i know you've pulled some stupid stunts before. So either you can talk to me, or I can go call Leslie, and she can make you talk with one of her doctor friends that i know none of us actually like being forced to see.”

Well that was. Huh.

That had definitely caught Tim off guard. Not only because he hadn’t even noticed the tears streaming down his face before someone else had called attention to them; his first instinct is to argue, but once he noticed himself he really couldn’t try to deny it. It wasn’t even because once he realized where Jason’s thought process was headed, the even more pathetic realisation came that he really looked like such shit that someone had seen him and just assumed he was a danger to himself.

No, the thing that he really has a difficult time processing was the fact that Jason had actually come talk to him because he was concerned. Although Tim had admittedly never gotten to know him all that well, it had never occurred to him that Jason Todd of all people, The Red Hood, would be the type to care much at all about his mental health. 

Although, I suppose i really don't know him that well.

That shock seemed to be what Tim needed to shift back into his mindset, think analytically again. Not that his broad self-loathing didn't still seem like a perfectly rational response to the situation he found himself in, but his emotions were contained again, safely tucked away and compartmentalised. The emptiness before was heavy. This emptiness feels light.

“Hello? Earth to Timmy?”

Jason just had to rudely interrupt his thoughts again.

When he glanced back at him Tim noticed that he was also standing now, and he had to look up to make eye contact with him.

“yes? What is it?”

He was speaking perfectly calmly now, but for some reason Jason gave him an odd look.

“Were you listening to a word I just said?”

Oh, right. Jason had just witnessed the latter half of a total mental breakdown. And was worried about him. And also threatening him. With therapists.

“yeah. I mean. Yeah… no…”

He was mumbling. Jason rolled his eyes.

“I mean. You don’t have to bother Miss Thompkins about me. It’s stupid.”

“so…?”

Tim sighed.  
“if you care so much, I'll call you. Later.”

Jason looked annoyed, and fairly skeptical.

“I'm gonna hold you to that.” He turned his back on Tim, apparently satisfied for the moment. “Well if that’s all we’re gonna get out of this right now, I’ve got places to be. So I’m gonna head downstairs, grab a couple of those fancy candle holders from the manor and get on my merry way with the rest of my night”

Tim grabbed onto his shoulder, and Jason smirked.

“Why are you stealing from the manor? And why would you tell me that you’re stealing from the manor?”

“I need to pay rent, and I need to stop eating your ex’s food. I also need to make sure you're still paying attention. Are you gonna try to stop me? Cause i can totally steal from someone else. Although i don’t think anyone in town really has quite as much to spare”

“Are you already trying to piss me off again?”

“always.”

Tim sighs.  
“You do know I can just give you money if you need it, right?”

Jason laughs sarcastically.  
“Ha! No. I don't take handouts”

“you have got to be kidding me.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Either way I’m doing it”

“Do you even know how much anything in this house is worth? Or where it all came from? What if you take something that’s actually important? What if you get ripped off?”

“Jesus, is this a fucking interrogation?”

“It is now. If you’re gonna do something stupid, at least know what the hell you’re doing and do it properly.”

Jason looked back at Tim, at first quizzically, but then with that big, shit-eating grin he was famous for.

“Well fine then, control freak. You gonna help me or what?”


End file.
